Whinge September 18, 2009
Posted by otterkat in The Collection.add a comment
As referred to over in Otterkat, things have been kind of tough around here lately (“here” being Chez Crazy, abode of Tuxedo and myself) due to major health crises; redundancy and fruitless job search – due to the total lack of an IT job market it should be said and nothing to do with the brilliance of my man; battling the dragon of government welfare agencies and trying to get the support and the pension to which I’m entitled; adjusting to the new World Order and our new circumstances; and mostly, realising how absolutely mind-blowingly lucky, fortunate and happy we really are.
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So – the aforementioned health crises.
Basically my pain levels went into overdrive mode back in April, and kept on going up and up and up. The pain was excruciating, especially in my neck and head – goddamn occipital nerves and wobbly joints! – so I was doing a lot of writhing around screaming. And not in a good way.
Crazy Diamond 101 September 16, 2009
Posted by otterkat in Basics, The Collection.add a comment
UPDATE MAY 2010
Otterkat is now officially my old blog: Crazy Diamond is where I post everything now. You can still check out old Otterkat posts though (if you are bored enugh …) ; it’s there linked in my blogroll.
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So here’s the thing; Otterkat wasn’t working that well for me. I wasn’t posting much at all because I was self-censoring. Entries just didn’t gel or meld in with the rest of the “style” in fact there was no “style” or over-arching thematic structure or somesuch shite. Yes I’m eclectic but there was happy horsie stuff and recipes and girly entries, mixed in with manic rants and depressing and introspective posts. The health issue ie The Collection was the major problem; if I blogged daily it would be “Tuesday: screaming pain. Wednesday: screaming pain, puking. Thursday: screaming pain, puking, vertigo, fuck I’m fed up.” That would get somewhat monotonous, I believe.
To that end I’ve split Otterkat into two, one part remaining as Otterkat, which will comprise the lighter side, viz a viz entries on horses, kittens, make up and skin care and other female stuff, cooking, books, rainbows and butterflies and unicorns / pegasi et al.
The other part is this, Crazy Diamond, named after the Pink Floyd song and the lyric of which (“Shine on you crazy diamond”) Tux had laser engraved on my iPod, from which one surmises that the “crazy diamond” is me, and “shining on” is me trying to get through the days as a physically disabled, emotionally / mentally complex, slightly bitter mess.
Sooooo here is where you will find the existential manic rants, the whinge-ing and the majority of swear words. There will of course be hiatuses (hiati?) and I will not apologise for those. That gets really, really boring; anyway Tux is trying very hard to train me out of apologising all the damn time so this here may be a good place to practice.
I’m hoping the actual writing and externalising of all the crap will help keep my head together. I’m also hoping that it will act as a starting point from which to connect and network with and create a support structure with other people sort-of-kinda-ish like me; disabled / restricted / just a bit messed up who want to be identified as far, far more than the sum of their circumstances, who are wrestling with the usual human daily problems and minutiae as well as the big-picture stuff.
What that all really means I don’t know yet. I don’t know if it will work but I know that I need an outlet for some of the issues I’m struggling with whilst feeling isolated and remote. So we’ll see . . .
